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30 Days of Recovery ~ chapter 26: The Pink Cloud of Recovery

May 21, 2013

The pink cloud in recovery is a feeling you get or a state of being you are in when you have been clean for a few weeks or months and yoga at sunset  #9you begin to feel fantastic.  Life is getting better you are physically feeling better, working hard at recovery, and putting your life back together.  It is completely normal and the only thing to be aware of is that life is not perfect and you may not have all the tools to handle life when it comes at you.  You are still in need of your sponsor’s guidance on a daily basis and you have a lot to learn.  Seasoned veterans of the programs do not even have all the answers and still need to consult their supports for issues in their lives.  That’s life.  Addiction is a tricky disease and can snatch you back up and rear its ugly head at any time.

So riding the pink cloud of recovery is a wonderful feeling and there is nothing wrong with riding that cloud and maintaining that positive state of mind.  I wish more people could experience it and hold onto it.  Sometimes people cannot hold onto it though because they do not do the work they need to grow and learn in recovery.  Complacency and arrogance sets in and they feel like they do not need to go to meetings or consult their sponsors for things.  They begin to feel superior to other addicts and meetings become a place to almost brag instead of finding experience, strength and hope for their problems.  In fact they do not feel they have problems and if they do they can handle them on their own.

How do I know all of this?  I was one of those people.  My opening classic line was, “My name is Amy and I’m an addict, I have a master’s degree in counseling…” Needless to say I began to rapidly decrease off of methadone trying to prove something I guess.  I went from 140 milligrams of methadone a day to 12 milligrams a day in a few months.  The recommended safe detox level is to go down 2-3 milligrams every 2-3 weeks and even that is pushing it.  After I go to 12 milligrams I discharged myself from the program and started Suboxone under the care of a doctor who ended up getting arrested a month and a half later.  It did not matter; I sold my Suboxones and got high a few days after I left the clinic.  I fell hard and fast, my relapse was pure hell.


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