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Living in Cycles

June 11, 2013

images (24)I used to think that living in cycles was bad. That repeating the same vicious cycles of abuse and addiction meant that all cycles are bad or unhealthy. My most recent relationship for example is a cycle of abuse and codependency. We’re together for a few months, break up for a few months, get back together for a few months, break up and in between we use drugs, treat each other badly try to manipulate and control one another. There’s lying, cheating and pain. I finally had enough and this time when he returned, I didn’t feel the same way I used to. The cycle was broken and I did not want him back.  Something had changed with me because I normally would compulsively jump right back into the loop with him and have him move in the day we run into each other or one of us contacts the other. This time something was different, my feelings were not there, at least not romantically. I saw through the manipulation and did not want to get involved again. Something had changed drastically and the cycle had been broken. This caused me to think all cycles are bad and I won’t live in any form of cycles anymore.

But I was wrong. Some cycles are not all that bad. We can see cycles or circles in many things. There are circles that make connections that are beautiful and healthy. Circles like the biggest circle of all, it connects us all, the circle of life. We are connected to everything around us which creates a cycle of birth, life and death.  Everything in nature is cycles, the seasons, the circle of life and miracles that are constantly happening around us. A raindrop and what it went through to fall through the sky onto my cheek. The orange I’m eating right now and the seeds I plucked out of it that I’m going to attempt to grow. It’s so beautiful and around us all the time!

Nature is full of cycles, circles and connections. We have relationships with other people that keep us all connected as well that are healthy and harmonious. I think about my support network and the cycles and circles that keep us all connected and how we help each other on our journeys through recovery. For instances My sponsor text me last night to welcome a new member of our recovery family. I did.  I text the new girl welcomed her and introduced myself. By doing that we figured out that we already new each other from a few years ago in another recovery meeting. We got to chatting and it put me in a recovery mood. I did some work on myself, some reading and this morning I feel much better then I did yesterday morning. My sponsor helped the new girl feel welcome, the new girl helped bring me back to my roots and do some work on myself. I in turn, will go over it with my sponsor and she will identify and use it to help the new girl who will talk to me about it and round we go. We have a connection, a circle, a cycle of recovery and helping one another to learn, change and grow. It’s a beautiful thing because then we extend our circles and cycles by bringing our experiences to meetings and they to other meetings and larger areas and then in long run we have made the world a better place. We are all interconnected and affect one another in our circles and connections and by doing the right thing for the right reasons and becoming a better person today then I was yesterday I have in my own way, made the world a better place by being a better person.

Being a better person to those around me may cause them to be better people in all the people they come across and so on. Cycles, circles and connections!

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From → My Story, Recovery

3 Comments
  1. You know Amy? I have to say when I woke up this morning, *Cycle* was on my mind. I suffer with Bi-polar 2 disorder, not the high mania, more manic depression. So when I got up and could feel my depression bad today, I said, “I must be in a cycle”…….BUT….reading your post just now lifted my UP my spirits! Thanks for a Beautiful Post! I needed it today 🙂 Hugs & Blessings 🙂

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    • Thank you for the comment, I’m so happy it was helpful to you! I have been studying the patterns of cycles in my life recently and that’s why I decided to post on it. Have a wonderful day!

      Like

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