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Week 2: 6 Tips To Help Create Your Best Life

September 1, 2013

There are so many self-help books, seminars and classes on improving our lives. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it either! I think it’s fabulous we are in a time that people recognize spiritual health and are more aware of their emotional needs, not just their physical needs.  People in search of happiness and freedom from the shackles of addiction, and mental health issues are becoming more open today. Drug addicts used to be a taboo topic and “those people need to get a grip!” or my personal favorite, “addiction is a weakness not a disease, suck it up!” The same with depression, “if you lie around all day you’re just being lazy.” People today are more open-minded about spiritual and emotional health.

I love my journey of personal and spiritual growth and improving my relationships. I am constantly learning new things and currently my children and I are studying different cultures.  Each night we cook something from the culture we are learning about.  My life is so fulfilling today and I am by no means rich, in fact I am disabled and live on the poverty line. It is proof that money does not buy happiness.  Me and my children get by just fine.  I hope one day I can return to the work world after my surgery but it is beyond my control today so I live as well as I can within my means.

A career does not equal a life purpose though so let’s not confuse the two.  It’s possible that one’s job can be part of their life purpose but too many people become frustrated and unfulfilled because they can’t find purpose in their job.  A job provides money for survival, if you do something you love that’s all that matters. A job you love may not have a deep meaningful purpose to the world but it means the world to you, that’s purposeful. A life purpose should be something you contribute to the universe and it doesn’t have to generate a profit if fact it may cost some people.  Say someone decides to buy 100 acres and make it a protected wildlife reserve.  He has to pay for that and there isn’t any money being generated from it.  Then there are nurses who care for the elderly in nursing homes.  They get paid but find enjoyment in making their patients final years comfortable and peaceful. I am working on finding my purpose in life and what kind of life I want to live and I’m 36 years old.  After doing some brainstorming I came up with some questions to help guide you into discovering what it is you would truly love to do and what you truly believe in.

Here is a list of ideas that may spark our creativity in brainstorming what our beliefs and unique qualities

  • 1. What things do I absolutely love in life?
  • 2. What are the things I have done in my life that I am most proud of? What things am I good at? What are my greatest accomplishments?
  • 3. What are the things I believe in? What do I stand up for? (not necessarily religion but views and feelings on maybe politics, maybe poverty or abortion?
  • 4. If you had absolute total freedom and you could do whatever you wanted and have whatever you wanted what would those things be?
  • 5. What do I admire most in the world?
  • 6. If you had $1 billion what would you do with it?

When you are answering these questions keep several things in mind, no one is looking so be honest this is for you!! This is not a contest, you don’t have to impress anyone, we aren’t going to share our answers with each other so exaggerating is counterproductive and dose not help you. Answer as best you can as honestly as you can. This is brainstorming!  There’s no right or wrong, jot down as much as you can and whatever comes to your mind. Let the ideas flow even if you think they’re ridiculous, write it all down! Once you have plenty of ideas take a good hard look at them.  The billion dollar question really painted a nice picture for me. What question gave you the clearest answers?
When I was in early recovery I couldn’t think about what I wanted to do with my life. I just wanted to survive the next five minutes. After some time past counselors and other recovering addicts started asking me what my values and beliefs were, what were my morals. I couldn’t answer these questions and I didn’t understand and I couldn’t think of anything except drugs even though I was clean.  The obsession and compulsion was still wide awake and very active inside me.
Once I had some time clean and my soul began to heal, I could think further ahead and wanted something more then just existing. I wanted meaning and purpose.  I needed to find an easier way to figure out what I wanted out of life and then be able to draw a road map on how to get there.  My desires, loves, feelings, my hopes, my dreams, my talents and my passions make me who I am today.  All of these qualities make me unique. Everyone has a different abilities and qualities that make them unique. This uniqueness is what we bring to the table and all of us collectively with our different uniqueness, make up our world, we are part of a collective whole. That’s what helped me to be able to ground myself, become more humble and understand what my values and beliefs were.
Now that you have all these aspects of yourself that you didn’t previously realize you can begin to put them together to start to create the life you want to live. There are no limits when chasing your dreams. I never thought I would be a published author and I am today. It began with a dream. All I wanted, more then anything was to be a writer. I wrote sporadically whenever I thought about it and then months would go by and I wouldn’t write at all.  I had to speak it and then believe it. People asked what I did, I said I’m a writer even though I hadn’t published anything yet. I didn’t have faith that I was good enough, let alone be published but someone said that I write, I’d written several books and just because they aren’t published it didn’t mean I wasn’t good enough, it didn’t mean it wasn’t an attainable goal so I began to answer, I’m a writer and it wasn’t long before I was sending out actual query letters,
It is so important to believe in yourself. Just because you aren’t getting paid for something doesn’t mean that you aren’t worthy of the title. If you do woodwork and build beautiful moldings for frames or crown moldings  then call yourself a woodworker because you are! You give yourself power in a name and that power is healthy, it builds your confidence.
As I said I’m a writer but I was sporadic about it.  My grandmother has made a living from writing and has published many books. Her advice to me was to write every morning for 15 minutes. I love the 15 minute rule and I use it in everything I do. If I don’t feel like doing the daily house chores I just do 15 minutes here and there throughout the day but that’s it, that’s all I have to do,
Since I started my 15 minutes of writing everyday I have made it a daily habit to write in the early morning and I have produced some of my best writing.
Creating your best life is just making choices that improve your sense of self and your life’s journey.  Everyone has the ability to create and build the life that best suits them, their needs and their abilities.


From → Recovery

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